A Bucket For My Tears

Coursework is now crazy. I have four to do. One in particular, Computer Graphics, is going to be particularly hard work because we’ve been asked to make a very complex program using OpenGL, which we’ve only just started learning and I have no experience using.

It worry’s me a lot when I’m given something to do, in a short space of time, that I don’t know how to start. I’m weary that I have 4 coursework’s, lecture tutorials and 2 semesters worth of revision to do. I didn’t think I’d start worrying about exams until after Easter, but I think I already am. I didn’t have enough time as it is, without being given infinite amounts of coursework to do as well.

I don’t like to moan on here, and realising that’s a moan in itself, I want to change the topic.

MAD TV isn’t going well either. The union are trying to help us get equipment, but it seems like one step forward, two steps back. We’ve got a place to put the camera: in a locked cupboard, in a locked room, in a locked part of a building we can’t even get in to. It’s all well and good being secure, but three times in the last three days I’ve not been able to get the camera when I’ve needed it because no-ones around with the right keys. How is MAD TV meant to function as the student news station when we can’t even get a camera? I love all the publicity and good things people say about MAD TV, but it seems like a bit of a hollow society sometimes. God only knows how we’ll cope next year when Mike and I aren’t around.

I just feel like it’s been setback after putdown after disappointment the last few days. I tried to have fun on Friday night by going to Rubix, which took my mind of things for a while, but it wasn’t a brilliant night and I quickly fell back into being down.

Oh did I mention that our shower is broken? and our toilet? and my door handle? and our extractor fan? Yup, I’m trying to look for a positive, but it’s well hidden.

I need life to cut me some slack, but I know that as soon as I get the chance to have fun, I’ll feel guilty for not doing my work. The only solution is to do my work, but half of it is impossible without more help. I feel trapped, and with no-one to say that to, I’m glad my blog is here to be a bucket for my tears.

• Happiness. 4 out of 10
• Tiredness. 2 out of 5
• Workload. 11 out of 10
• Last Meal. Free lunch (yay! something positive!)
• Song of the day. Fatboy Slim – Brimful Of Asha
• Thought for the day. nowhere to go, but going out of my mind
• What I’m Doing Now. Failing at getting some work done